You've got to be jokin' 'ere

Just when you thought it was safe to open your newspapers, yesterday saw the re-emergence of Joe "Fucking" Kinnear and his fantasy football world.  Yesterday JFK spoke to the Journal and made some ridiculous claims that he deserved more praise for his role as manager at Newcastle United.

JFK's reign at Newcastle started in tumultuous fashion. Appointed after Kevin Keegan's departure, in 2008 on an initial one month contract which then became a rolling month to month contract, he immediately endeared himself to the press by publicly calling Simon Bird of the Mirror a cunt in a press conference which saw him swear 52 times, and declare that he wouldn't deal with national media in the future and would only be speaking to the local press.

As Geordies everywhere cringed at the crassness of the bloke, we really had no clue what we were about to endure in a season which ultimately ended in the relegation of a team that on the whole lacked class, dignity, fight or dedication. A season which saw Shay Given sold to Manchester City, a season where JFK publicly mispronounced Charles N'Zogbia's name, and in calling him "Insomnia" managed to piss off the moody Frenchman even more than usual and which directly led to him joining a big club Wigan, a season in which he confronted referee Mike Riley to remonstrate with him after a 2-2 draw with this weekend's opponents Stoke City, and a season which saw Kinnear taken into hospital prior to the match with West Brom. JFK needed a  heart bypass operation, and after time with Chris Hughton at the helm as caretaker, Alan Shearer was appointed to steward the club until the end of the season, which finished with the relegation at Villa Park.

Despite JFK's remarks during the 2009 close season that Mike Ashley wanted him to come back to manage Newcastle, Hughton was appointed manager during the Championship season. That didn't stop Kinnear making comments about how there was a contract for him on the table, or claims that the club would be sold.

Much to the relief of Geordies everywhere Hughton managed to stabilise the club, get rid of the mercenaries and much of the deadwood and bring in the passion and camaraderie that had been lacking the previous season. This stabilisation effectively ruled JFK out of a return to the club, but like a bad smell, memories of JFK lingered.

In October 2010 former Newcastle player Mick Harford told the Sunday Sun:

 “Joe is absolutely certain...that he would have kept the club up if he hadn’t had his heart condition when he had it.”

“When you look back at it his results were good..."

Personally I wouldn't call a win rate of 19.23% and a run which saw us win only 2 game in 15 including the FA cup matches good myself, but obviously Mick Harford knows far more about football than me!

And JFK's heart problems also seem to have affected his memory. In this week's piece he angrily denied Steve Bruce's claims that the current Sunderland manager wanted to take Andy Carroll to Wigan but were outpriced at £4.5 million. Kinnear says:

“Andy Carroll was a kid I’d given his debut to..."

which is interesting seeing that Andy Carroll made his debut as a 90th minute substitute in Palermo under Glenn Roeder, nearly 2 years before Kinnear's appointment. 

Why JFK sees it fit to make any comments regarding Newcastle now, seeing that it's over 2 years since his last involvement, is questionable, but within his whinging he has also resurrected the alleged Geordie hate for southerners. Despite this hatred of southerners Geordies have taken the likes of Rob Lee, Supermac, Gavin Peacock, Les Ferdinand, Warren Barton and Chris Hughton into their hearts.

However JFK either ignores this, or more probably fails to see why these former Newcastle men are thought of with warmth while others including himself bring nothing but distain from the Newcastle fans. In 2009 JFK told the Guardian:

 "I think Mike Ashley got a lot of unfair criticism last year, I think anybody from London does, that's the way life is up there."

and this was repeated in the article from the Journal when he claims that his achievements (what achievements are these) were ignored "because I'm a cockney". He continues to say: 

"...it was me who brought in Kevin Nolan for £4m. He was Newcastle’s player of the year last year but do I get any credit for signing him? No, because I’m a cockney."

Sorry Joe, but in my opinion you've used three letters to many at the end of that sentence.