It's that time of the year again

Here we are again. Another season has passed, and it's been a canny one. After the championship winning season, it was always going to be a nervous first season back in the Premiership and I know I wasn't the only person who said from the start of pre-season training that finishing in 17th place would do. So to end up comfortable in mid-table, not embroiled in a relegation dogfight come May, exceeded my expectations.

There were, of course, some low points in the 2010/2011 season. Losing 5-1 to Bolton, seeing Blackpool beat us at home, the car-crash that was the fixture at Stevenage, Chrissy Hughton's disgraceful sacking, and the circus that was the sale of Andy Carroll all sat uncomfortably with me. Mike Ashley and Derek Llambias have done nothing yet to show me that they have any kind of understanding of how to run this football club, and the closing of the Leazes Corner only highlight's their lack of empathy with the fans of this club.

However, away from Laurel and Hardy, there have been some real positives. Aston Villa 6-0, Chelsea 3-4, Arsenal 0-1, Liverpool 3-1, West Ham 5-0, the amazing comeback against Arsenal at home, and of course the 5-1 humiliation of the unwashed down the road, followed by Steve Bruce making a complete ballsack of himself and the 1-1 draw down at Albania-on-wear, which was celebrated by them like they had won the champions league.

We've seen Joey Barton play like a dream, Nolan end up with more premier league goals than Drogba, Colocinni being on a promise with 99% of the women of the north-east, Leon Best being mint, Shane Ferguson looking like a right bobby dazzler and the promise of Hatem Ben Arfa to come. On the pitch we look like we have a firm foundation to build on, if we can stop selling our best players to our rivals.

In an ideal summer we would tie up Enrique and Barton to new deals, sign up a proven goalscorer, and add some depth to a squad which has shown signs of being quite thin at times. However rumblings are already coming out of the area of Barrack Road which sound like some of the better players could be shipped out.

The lowest point for me this season was seeing the end of the "singing section". The Level 7 Leazes corner has been a breath of fresh air. A place where football fans could stand and sing and really create an atmosphere. However Ashley in his wisdom has decided to relocate the fans, who have been quite vocal in their criticism of him, and thinks this will dilute the negative feelings that have been vocalised about him. What he fails to realise is that no matter where we are in the ground we will not be silenced.

The club seem to feel by not relocating us together in the Level 4 corner of the Leazes stand we will stop making a noise, how wrong can they be! Most of us will now go to the Gallowgate and we will continue to be loud and proud and sing our hearts out for the lads!

My hopes for next season are that we continue to build on a solid foundation, establish ourselves in the mid-section of the premier league and aim higher in the coming years. I have enjoyed this season, something that a couple of years ago I couldn't imagine myself saying.

Let the crazy season of transfer speculation begin. See you all next season.

Talking out of his Llambias

On Saturday at the match I read the latest match programme. Derek Llambias, our Chairman, has a regular page in it, and decided to use his latest spot to rant at the Newcastle fans because they dared to voice their feelings towards Liverpool's Andy Carroll at the game at Anfield. These are the same fans who have steadfastly supported this club since before Dekka even knew exactly where Newcastle was, the fans who have watched Mike Ashley make a mockery of NUFC legends Kevin Keegan and Alan Shearer, the same fans who watched Ashley and Llambias lead our club to relegation.

How many clubs would love to have fans who, despite not having seen a major trophy since 1969, still turn up week in, week out to support their team? Who, in a season in the second tier of football averaged a home gate of 43, 388 and managed a staggering 52, 181 against Ipswich Town? Who have regularly sold out away allocations for years and who have taken over 8, 000 fans to the likes of Blackburn?

These fans commit a significant proportion of their wages to following Newcastle. The majority have just renewed their season tickets for the next season, and some have signed up for 10 more years. Yet Llambias feels that he has a right to have a go at these fans for daring to vent their frustrations at Andy Carroll, a local lad, who only back in November signed a new long term deal to stay at his home-town club, but by the end of January had handed in a transfer request to join Liverpool.

Llambias has no right to criticise anyone, least of all the fans who have backed this club through thin and thinner. He really has no clue what this club means to us, he doesn't realise that supporting Newcastle is a birthright, he has no idea how betrayed we felt by the sale of Andy Carroll. He has no clue what the relegation meant to us, hasn't a clue about the roller coaster of emotions ridden between 2008 and 2011 while supporting Newcastle United.

He stated that "...the abuse he [Andy Carroll] received was difficult to stomach..." Really Dekka, was it? Well try being a Newcastle fan who has had to live with you and Mike Ashley for the last few years. Try living watching you guys humiliate Keegan, watching you admit in court that you've lied to the fans, watching you employ the frankly embarrassing Joe Kinnear, the relegation, the fucking around with Shearer and then, when we were back on the up and up, the sacking of Chris Hughton and the sale of Carroll. All while you pick up a wage that a lot of us could only dream of. That is sickening Dekka, that is difficult to stomach.

Since Llambias' appointment as Chairman many fans have asked what qualifications the former casino manager had to run a football club. Fans have been staggered by Llambias' scorn towards the fans, the distaste he has shown when dealing with us, the lack of respect, the stories of him drunkenly running naked over the hallowed St James' Park turf for a laugh, the barely disguised marionette controlled from above by Mike Ashley. The man really has no class.

Many of us asked whether a man like Llambias even knew anything about football at all. One quote from our most recent programme sums up to me that he hasn't got a clue. Llambias says "To go from hero to villain simply for moving clubs...is beyond me." Unbelievable, the man has no clue! How he cannot see that not only the move, but the manner in which it unfolded, hurt the Newcastle fans and detailed to us our lack of future ambition is baffling. Why he cannot see understand that we are still sore about seeing a young lad who could have been the future of our club pulling on the jersey of Liverpool shows that the guy should stick to managing roulette tables.

Andy Carroll, like Michael Owen when he returned to St James Park with Manchester United, got exactly what he deserved. He put money before the club. Carroll, as a young Geordie lad, had his dreams come true when he was awarded the coveted number 9 shirt. He was in a position that every Newcastle fan would give anything for. But he decided that the Anfield grass was greener, and by doing that he burned his bridges with a lot of the paying fans.

Llambias needs to remember that he and Ashley have it lucky. He has 52, 000 people who still flock to St James Park to worship the black and white. Criticising them for expressing their feelings towards someone who has turned their back on our cause just shows that he hasn't got a clue. The sooner Llambias moves on to manage Aspers and leaves running a football club to a football man the better.

EMO meltdown

In my time watching Newcastle United I can't remember a former player getting such a hostile welcome back to St James' Park as England's Michael Owen (EMO) got last night. From his tweets later that night Owen seemed rather surprised that he was not welcomed back with open arms. What did the lad, whose main concern during his time at Newcastle was collecting England caps, expect?

On the 24th of August 2005 Owen was greeted at St James' Park by thousands of fans. Most of those, I guess, are the idiots who stand around Strawberry Place whenever David Craig and his Sky Cameras appear, with badly spelled bedsheets, bottles of alcopop and dodgy haircuts, rather than the match goers. Myself, I was at a charity fundraiser, and was appalled by the signing, seeing it immediately as a trophy signing with very little real value.

Owen did little to endear himself to the Newcastle fans. Whilst picking up over £100,000 a week, he helicoptered himself to and from training in the North-East, refusing to set up home here. His interaction with the fans was not just minimal, but completely non-existent. His involvement with local community schemes, such an important part of his job, was completely ignored. Owen ensured he spent as little time in the North-East as possible.

As a captain of the club he couldn't motivate cement to set. As he wandered, uninterestedly around the pitch, young lads around him were unable to look to him for guidance and motivation during a game, he couldn't look less interested if he tried.

Plagued by injuries, he only ever seemed to care when he was attempting to make it back into the England squad, only to break down again. In his final season here, having earned over £20 million since 2005, he guided us to relegation at Aston Villa, a game he missed due to injury, surprise surprise.

Never has a player looked more mercenary, and never has a player had such a negative response from Newcastle fans to his appearance on the St James' pitch. On Twitter Owen moaned:

"Knew I would get booed as that's what a lot of fans do but if they knew the facts then they may have a different opinion."


Then later on:


"From what most of you Newcastle fans are saying you should be pleased I left the club! If i had known that earlier I could have left sooner!"


Poor little rich boy couldn't understand why the Newcastle United fans took umbrage with his greedy, lazy attitude. I'm more than sure that that the majority of Newcastle United fans would have been delighted if he'd have left earlier too. It would have saved us over £5 million a season, £1.3 million pound per goal scored. Even Freddy Shepherd, a man who has vigorously defended his signing of Owen, to end his nightmare at Madrid, spoke this week about how little value Owen represented. Owen's hilariously petulant reaction on twitter just shows how removed from reality he is. Hopefully he'll retire from football at the end of this season and disappear up his own arse. 

Everybody needs a nutter in the middle

Due to the suspension of Kevin Nolan, one Joseph Anthony Barton led out Newcastle United at Villa Park on Sunday. Joey has, in the past been a very naughty boy. His offences are both violent and shocking and something that I do not condone in any way shape or form. The midfielder has brought shame on himself from his actions since getting himself sent off at half-time in an FA Cup match playing for Manchester City against Tottenham in February 20. Since that incident Barton's list of offences include sparking a mass brawl, stubbing a cigar out in a youth player's eye, assaulting a 15 year old, exposing his backside after a match, assaulting a team-mate and a drunken assault on a member of the public and a youth at 5.30am in Liverpool city centre.

The actions are inexcusable and rightly Barton was sentenced to six months in prison for the assault in Liverpool, which had left one victim unconscious and the younger victim needing dental work. Barton also admitted to being an alcoholic and made the decision to chose total abstinence from alcohol to attempt to curb his unacceptable behaviour with the help of Tony Adams' "Sporting Chance" clinic.

Since Barton's decision to abstain from alcohol, his behaviour has certainly improved. He is an avid supporter of the "Get Hooked on Fishing" campaign which encourages children who would have otherwise find themselves getting into trouble to take up Fishing. He has also been made patron of the Tamsin Gulvin fund, which aims to help young people with addictions but no funding to help address the problem. He has also successful maintained his sobriety, admitting that he has to stay away from alcohol and "live like a monk" to keep his life on a level plane.

As someone who has also successfully admitted that they cannot handle their alcohol and has had to make the decision to permanently abstain to avoid the destructive path that alcohol was taking me down I admire Barton for his hard work. An alcoholic lives an unstable and chaotic life. A successful reformed alcoholic finds a peace and serenity that can help them overcome their previous problems. Unless you have been down the path of admitting your alcoholism, dealing with the problem and realising that you can never drink alcohol again, you will not understand the decisions and epiphanies that are made and experienced in this process.

Barton's decision to become sober, to improve his life both on and off the field was a massive one. He is a clearly intelligent bloke. Just read some of his interviews, watch some of the candid television spots he has done. Of course he is arrogant, a lot of the best footballers are, and it is a trait that allows the success to grow, but there is also a humbleness about Barton. He doesn't forget where he came from. He knows all to well where his path has led him in the past, and how quickly he could be back on that path if he allows alcohol to become a major player in his life.

Since the game on Sunday I have seen some ridiculous comments regarding Barton, slating the lad for a poor game, saying that the old Barton was creeping back to the fore, that the interview that had been published earlier on, where Barton claimed that he was the best midfielder in England, that he deserved his chance in the England team, was better than Ashley Young and that Gareth Barry was a teacher's pet had come back to bite him on the backside. They gleefully rubbed their hands as they derided the midfielder, saying it was only a matter of time before he let everyone down again. These are the people who would delight in seeing Barton crash and burn.

However I see it as another step on Barton's learning curve. Personally I think the lad was trying to hard. With a squad depleted by injuries and suspensions we were unlucky to lose to a goal that came from a soft decision to give Young a free-kick. Barton goes into every game knowing that opposition managers have targeted him, and knowing that opposition players will try to wind him up to provoke a reaction. The Barton we have seen this season is far removed from the Barton who has lashed out in the past.

It's time that people allowed Barton to get on with the game he loves. Barton acknowledges that his father and grandmother gave him the grounding in life that allowed him to become the successful footballer that his is. His interviews are always interesting, intelligent, thought provoking and far removed from the usual dirge of stereotypes that are usually spewed out by footballers who don't have a brain cell in their heads. His football is always passionate, he always gives a committed performance. His life now is in a calmer, more peaceful place. People who are waiting for his next fall from grace should really find something better to do, because nothing would please me more than to see Barton to keep them waiting.

Much aroo about nothing

At the weekend Manchester United were trailing 2-0 to relegation threatened West Ham at half time. Within the space of 14 minutes Wayne Rooney scored a hat-trick to ensure that the Red Devils maintained top spot in the league, but instead of his three goals making him news on the back page, his rant at a Sky Sports TV camera which was broadcasting live to the nation ensured he was making front pages for all the wrong reasons.

After scoring the third goal from the penalty spot Rooney screamed some not so pleasant words directly into the camera. The nation exploded into a complete moral meltdown, with Radio 5 Live inundated (apparently) with complaints, although why people felt the need to phone the BBC when Rooney was swearing on Sky is beyond me.

I can see why some might be offended. In fact some people reading this might presume that as a woman I would be offended myself. You don't really want to be sitting watching the football with your children/mother/granny/vicar* and have a Shrek impersonator scream obscenities in their faces now do you?

*delete where appropriate

However, what has the lad done really? Think about it for a moment. He's playing in an important game, his team has come from 2-0 down to take the lead, he has been abused for nearly 70 minutes by West Ham fans, he's frustrated with the form he has shown this season. He has just scored a damn important goal for the team we all love to hate (and believe me I hate Manchester United as much as anyone). He has a camera shoved in his face and he shouts some words that some might not feel necessary to use.

Without being derogatory to young Wayne, he is not the most intelligent and articulate young man. He was brought up on one of the toughest estates in Liverpool. People mock him for what he is, a rich charva. But the lad doesn't pretend to be anything he's not. He's a millionaire, but strip away the money he's made from football and he's the young lad who would probably be labouring on a building site, or hanging around the Job Centre had he not been given his footballing ability.

Wayne's reaction showed me that the lad has felt under pressure in a season where he probably feels himself that he's under-performed. His swearing was not very pleasant but for me the more distasteful thing about the whole event was how men, who probably have no problem questioning the parentage of the referee, or calling their local rivals worse than muck, came over with a huge case of the vapours when Rooney swore. I've heard much, much, much worse come from supporters, not just as individuals, but as groups of fans chanting. For me chantings about the Munich air disaster and Hillsborough are far more offensive than one charva saying "fuck" to a TV camera.

I've heard several people say that Wayne Rooney is a role model, but hang on one minute, who made Rooney a role model? I'm sure he didn't set himself up as a role model, and as a parent I can think of many examples of people I would prefer my children to see as role models before Wayne Rooney or just about any footballer to be honest. I'm also quite sure that children hear worse than what Rooney said in their everyday lives. I know that I have heard some sentences and words coming from children (not my own I might add) that would make a stripper blush. Where do these children hear these words? Usually from parents and peers I would hazard a guess. Parents have a responsibility to bring children up to know what is acceptable and what isn't and children who witnessed Wayne Rooney's rant on saturday but who have parents who explain that it's not polite to scream obscenities in people's faces will not suddenly go out screaming and cursing at others just because Rooney did it.

Really in this life there are far worse things happening than a bloke who has an uncanny resemblance to a green ogre with a scottish accent swearing on the telly. I know when I go to the football there is the likelihood that I will swear at some point. If I have had a stressful week, the match is a great opportunity for me to vent those frustrations. If any of you are offended by the thought of me swearing I would apologise but to be honest I really don't give a fu.......

You've got to be jokin' 'ere

Just when you thought it was safe to open your newspapers, yesterday saw the re-emergence of Joe "Fucking" Kinnear and his fantasy football world.  Yesterday JFK spoke to the Journal and made some ridiculous claims that he deserved more praise for his role as manager at Newcastle United.

JFK's reign at Newcastle started in tumultuous fashion. Appointed after Kevin Keegan's departure, in 2008 on an initial one month contract which then became a rolling month to month contract, he immediately endeared himself to the press by publicly calling Simon Bird of the Mirror a cunt in a press conference which saw him swear 52 times, and declare that he wouldn't deal with national media in the future and would only be speaking to the local press.

As Geordies everywhere cringed at the crassness of the bloke, we really had no clue what we were about to endure in a season which ultimately ended in the relegation of a team that on the whole lacked class, dignity, fight or dedication. A season which saw Shay Given sold to Manchester City, a season where JFK publicly mispronounced Charles N'Zogbia's name, and in calling him "Insomnia" managed to piss off the moody Frenchman even more than usual and which directly led to him joining a big club Wigan, a season in which he confronted referee Mike Riley to remonstrate with him after a 2-2 draw with this weekend's opponents Stoke City, and a season which saw Kinnear taken into hospital prior to the match with West Brom. JFK needed a  heart bypass operation, and after time with Chris Hughton at the helm as caretaker, Alan Shearer was appointed to steward the club until the end of the season, which finished with the relegation at Villa Park.

Despite JFK's remarks during the 2009 close season that Mike Ashley wanted him to come back to manage Newcastle, Hughton was appointed manager during the Championship season. That didn't stop Kinnear making comments about how there was a contract for him on the table, or claims that the club would be sold.

Much to the relief of Geordies everywhere Hughton managed to stabilise the club, get rid of the mercenaries and much of the deadwood and bring in the passion and camaraderie that had been lacking the previous season. This stabilisation effectively ruled JFK out of a return to the club, but like a bad smell, memories of JFK lingered.

In October 2010 former Newcastle player Mick Harford told the Sunday Sun:

 “Joe is absolutely certain...that he would have kept the club up if he hadn’t had his heart condition when he had it.”

“When you look back at it his results were good..."

Personally I wouldn't call a win rate of 19.23% and a run which saw us win only 2 game in 15 including the FA cup matches good myself, but obviously Mick Harford knows far more about football than me!

And JFK's heart problems also seem to have affected his memory. In this week's piece he angrily denied Steve Bruce's claims that the current Sunderland manager wanted to take Andy Carroll to Wigan but were outpriced at £4.5 million. Kinnear says:

“Andy Carroll was a kid I’d given his debut to..."

which is interesting seeing that Andy Carroll made his debut as a 90th minute substitute in Palermo under Glenn Roeder, nearly 2 years before Kinnear's appointment. 

Why JFK sees it fit to make any comments regarding Newcastle now, seeing that it's over 2 years since his last involvement, is questionable, but within his whinging he has also resurrected the alleged Geordie hate for southerners. Despite this hatred of southerners Geordies have taken the likes of Rob Lee, Supermac, Gavin Peacock, Les Ferdinand, Warren Barton and Chris Hughton into their hearts.

However JFK either ignores this, or more probably fails to see why these former Newcastle men are thought of with warmth while others including himself bring nothing but distain from the Newcastle fans. In 2009 JFK told the Guardian:

 "I think Mike Ashley got a lot of unfair criticism last year, I think anybody from London does, that's the way life is up there."

and this was repeated in the article from the Journal when he claims that his achievements (what achievements are these) were ignored "because I'm a cockney". He continues to say: 

"...it was me who brought in Kevin Nolan for £4m. He was Newcastle’s player of the year last year but do I get any credit for signing him? No, because I’m a cockney."

Sorry Joe, but in my opinion you've used three letters to many at the end of that sentence. 

Embarrassment of riches

This weekend Alan Pardew has admitted that he has a huge decision to make in the summer. Our current goalkeeping situation sees three men fighting for one place and Pardew has come out in the press to say that he has to decide whether to let one of the young 'keepers leave the club.

Steve Harper has been with Newcastle United since 1993, after signing from local non-league team Seaham Red Star. As Newcastle's longest serving player, he has spent the majority of his career acting as back up to Shay Given. Some cite a lack of ambition for Harper not moving away from Newcastle in that time, personally I see it as loyalty. Whenever Harper has been asked to step up to the mark he has shown that he is worthy of the number 1 shirt and he could have walked into the goalkeeping role at a number of other Premier League clubs and possibly have gained some England caps.

Harper is the model professional. Having completed an Open University degree while playing for Newcastle reserves, Harper is also an FA approved referee. He attends reserve team matches and keeps himself well out of the media spotlight. He is also reported to be a big fan of darts and a joker in the dressing room. He is certainly a fans favourite and deserves his place between the sticks but as he celebrates his 36th birthday today time is not on his side.

Coming up fast behind Harper Newcastle United are lucky enough to have two superb young 'keepers. Tim Krul currently holds the spot on Newcastle's bench, after 19 appearances this season. Signed from his hometown team, Den Haag, Krul had a cameo role in the 2006-2007 season when he starred in the UEFA cup game against Palermo making some astonishing saves due. Since then, with the two 'keepers in front of him, Krul has spent time on loan at Falkirk and Carlisle before returning as back up when Given moved to Manchester City. Krul is highly rated by his country, where he has represented Holland at Under 17 and Under 21 level and is now involved with the senior squad and is tipped to be Holland's future number 1. He has also courted interest from the likes of Juventus and Feyernood, and if he was to leave Newcastle would have no trouble finding a club to play for.

Meanwhile Fraser Forster has not been resting on his laurels. The young, Hexham-born 'keeper has spent time at Stockport, Bristol, Norwich and Celtic on loan where he has impressed both fans and managers. At Norwich he kept an astonishing 50% record for clean sheets, which earned him the Macron Golden Gloves award. Norwich were promoted from league one, and Forster earned the Players Player Award and came second in the Fans Player Awards. Forster then joined Celtic at the start of the 2010-2011 season, and has so far made 30 appearances for the SPL club.

It will have been invaluable for Forster to have played in front of 50, 000 fans every other week, as if he is to step into the 'keeper's role at St James Park, it will be something he has to face up to. Nothing teaches a young goalkeeper better than experience, and Forster has played his role in the Old Firm games this season showing that he can withstand the high pressure matches.

Come pre-season training Alan Pardew knows that he will have 3 goalkeepers banging on his door to show them why he is worthy of the regular goalkeeping spot at Newcastle. Personally I would like to see Forster given a chance to show that he can step up to the Premier League, with Harper in a player-coach role, and Krul being given a spell on loan at a high-level Championship/lower Premier League club. It's an interesting dilemma for Pardew to have, and one which I will be watching closely.