EMO meltdown

In my time watching Newcastle United I can't remember a former player getting such a hostile welcome back to St James' Park as England's Michael Owen (EMO) got last night. From his tweets later that night Owen seemed rather surprised that he was not welcomed back with open arms. What did the lad, whose main concern during his time at Newcastle was collecting England caps, expect?

On the 24th of August 2005 Owen was greeted at St James' Park by thousands of fans. Most of those, I guess, are the idiots who stand around Strawberry Place whenever David Craig and his Sky Cameras appear, with badly spelled bedsheets, bottles of alcopop and dodgy haircuts, rather than the match goers. Myself, I was at a charity fundraiser, and was appalled by the signing, seeing it immediately as a trophy signing with very little real value.

Owen did little to endear himself to the Newcastle fans. Whilst picking up over £100,000 a week, he helicoptered himself to and from training in the North-East, refusing to set up home here. His interaction with the fans was not just minimal, but completely non-existent. His involvement with local community schemes, such an important part of his job, was completely ignored. Owen ensured he spent as little time in the North-East as possible.

As a captain of the club he couldn't motivate cement to set. As he wandered, uninterestedly around the pitch, young lads around him were unable to look to him for guidance and motivation during a game, he couldn't look less interested if he tried.

Plagued by injuries, he only ever seemed to care when he was attempting to make it back into the England squad, only to break down again. In his final season here, having earned over £20 million since 2005, he guided us to relegation at Aston Villa, a game he missed due to injury, surprise surprise.

Never has a player looked more mercenary, and never has a player had such a negative response from Newcastle fans to his appearance on the St James' pitch. On Twitter Owen moaned:

"Knew I would get booed as that's what a lot of fans do but if they knew the facts then they may have a different opinion."


Then later on:


"From what most of you Newcastle fans are saying you should be pleased I left the club! If i had known that earlier I could have left sooner!"


Poor little rich boy couldn't understand why the Newcastle United fans took umbrage with his greedy, lazy attitude. I'm more than sure that that the majority of Newcastle United fans would have been delighted if he'd have left earlier too. It would have saved us over £5 million a season, £1.3 million pound per goal scored. Even Freddy Shepherd, a man who has vigorously defended his signing of Owen, to end his nightmare at Madrid, spoke this week about how little value Owen represented. Owen's hilariously petulant reaction on twitter just shows how removed from reality he is. Hopefully he'll retire from football at the end of this season and disappear up his own arse. 

Everybody needs a nutter in the middle

Due to the suspension of Kevin Nolan, one Joseph Anthony Barton led out Newcastle United at Villa Park on Sunday. Joey has, in the past been a very naughty boy. His offences are both violent and shocking and something that I do not condone in any way shape or form. The midfielder has brought shame on himself from his actions since getting himself sent off at half-time in an FA Cup match playing for Manchester City against Tottenham in February 20. Since that incident Barton's list of offences include sparking a mass brawl, stubbing a cigar out in a youth player's eye, assaulting a 15 year old, exposing his backside after a match, assaulting a team-mate and a drunken assault on a member of the public and a youth at 5.30am in Liverpool city centre.

The actions are inexcusable and rightly Barton was sentenced to six months in prison for the assault in Liverpool, which had left one victim unconscious and the younger victim needing dental work. Barton also admitted to being an alcoholic and made the decision to chose total abstinence from alcohol to attempt to curb his unacceptable behaviour with the help of Tony Adams' "Sporting Chance" clinic.

Since Barton's decision to abstain from alcohol, his behaviour has certainly improved. He is an avid supporter of the "Get Hooked on Fishing" campaign which encourages children who would have otherwise find themselves getting into trouble to take up Fishing. He has also been made patron of the Tamsin Gulvin fund, which aims to help young people with addictions but no funding to help address the problem. He has also successful maintained his sobriety, admitting that he has to stay away from alcohol and "live like a monk" to keep his life on a level plane.

As someone who has also successfully admitted that they cannot handle their alcohol and has had to make the decision to permanently abstain to avoid the destructive path that alcohol was taking me down I admire Barton for his hard work. An alcoholic lives an unstable and chaotic life. A successful reformed alcoholic finds a peace and serenity that can help them overcome their previous problems. Unless you have been down the path of admitting your alcoholism, dealing with the problem and realising that you can never drink alcohol again, you will not understand the decisions and epiphanies that are made and experienced in this process.

Barton's decision to become sober, to improve his life both on and off the field was a massive one. He is a clearly intelligent bloke. Just read some of his interviews, watch some of the candid television spots he has done. Of course he is arrogant, a lot of the best footballers are, and it is a trait that allows the success to grow, but there is also a humbleness about Barton. He doesn't forget where he came from. He knows all to well where his path has led him in the past, and how quickly he could be back on that path if he allows alcohol to become a major player in his life.

Since the game on Sunday I have seen some ridiculous comments regarding Barton, slating the lad for a poor game, saying that the old Barton was creeping back to the fore, that the interview that had been published earlier on, where Barton claimed that he was the best midfielder in England, that he deserved his chance in the England team, was better than Ashley Young and that Gareth Barry was a teacher's pet had come back to bite him on the backside. They gleefully rubbed their hands as they derided the midfielder, saying it was only a matter of time before he let everyone down again. These are the people who would delight in seeing Barton crash and burn.

However I see it as another step on Barton's learning curve. Personally I think the lad was trying to hard. With a squad depleted by injuries and suspensions we were unlucky to lose to a goal that came from a soft decision to give Young a free-kick. Barton goes into every game knowing that opposition managers have targeted him, and knowing that opposition players will try to wind him up to provoke a reaction. The Barton we have seen this season is far removed from the Barton who has lashed out in the past.

It's time that people allowed Barton to get on with the game he loves. Barton acknowledges that his father and grandmother gave him the grounding in life that allowed him to become the successful footballer that his is. His interviews are always interesting, intelligent, thought provoking and far removed from the usual dirge of stereotypes that are usually spewed out by footballers who don't have a brain cell in their heads. His football is always passionate, he always gives a committed performance. His life now is in a calmer, more peaceful place. People who are waiting for his next fall from grace should really find something better to do, because nothing would please me more than to see Barton to keep them waiting.

Much aroo about nothing

At the weekend Manchester United were trailing 2-0 to relegation threatened West Ham at half time. Within the space of 14 minutes Wayne Rooney scored a hat-trick to ensure that the Red Devils maintained top spot in the league, but instead of his three goals making him news on the back page, his rant at a Sky Sports TV camera which was broadcasting live to the nation ensured he was making front pages for all the wrong reasons.

After scoring the third goal from the penalty spot Rooney screamed some not so pleasant words directly into the camera. The nation exploded into a complete moral meltdown, with Radio 5 Live inundated (apparently) with complaints, although why people felt the need to phone the BBC when Rooney was swearing on Sky is beyond me.

I can see why some might be offended. In fact some people reading this might presume that as a woman I would be offended myself. You don't really want to be sitting watching the football with your children/mother/granny/vicar* and have a Shrek impersonator scream obscenities in their faces now do you?

*delete where appropriate

However, what has the lad done really? Think about it for a moment. He's playing in an important game, his team has come from 2-0 down to take the lead, he has been abused for nearly 70 minutes by West Ham fans, he's frustrated with the form he has shown this season. He has just scored a damn important goal for the team we all love to hate (and believe me I hate Manchester United as much as anyone). He has a camera shoved in his face and he shouts some words that some might not feel necessary to use.

Without being derogatory to young Wayne, he is not the most intelligent and articulate young man. He was brought up on one of the toughest estates in Liverpool. People mock him for what he is, a rich charva. But the lad doesn't pretend to be anything he's not. He's a millionaire, but strip away the money he's made from football and he's the young lad who would probably be labouring on a building site, or hanging around the Job Centre had he not been given his footballing ability.

Wayne's reaction showed me that the lad has felt under pressure in a season where he probably feels himself that he's under-performed. His swearing was not very pleasant but for me the more distasteful thing about the whole event was how men, who probably have no problem questioning the parentage of the referee, or calling their local rivals worse than muck, came over with a huge case of the vapours when Rooney swore. I've heard much, much, much worse come from supporters, not just as individuals, but as groups of fans chanting. For me chantings about the Munich air disaster and Hillsborough are far more offensive than one charva saying "fuck" to a TV camera.

I've heard several people say that Wayne Rooney is a role model, but hang on one minute, who made Rooney a role model? I'm sure he didn't set himself up as a role model, and as a parent I can think of many examples of people I would prefer my children to see as role models before Wayne Rooney or just about any footballer to be honest. I'm also quite sure that children hear worse than what Rooney said in their everyday lives. I know that I have heard some sentences and words coming from children (not my own I might add) that would make a stripper blush. Where do these children hear these words? Usually from parents and peers I would hazard a guess. Parents have a responsibility to bring children up to know what is acceptable and what isn't and children who witnessed Wayne Rooney's rant on saturday but who have parents who explain that it's not polite to scream obscenities in people's faces will not suddenly go out screaming and cursing at others just because Rooney did it.

Really in this life there are far worse things happening than a bloke who has an uncanny resemblance to a green ogre with a scottish accent swearing on the telly. I know when I go to the football there is the likelihood that I will swear at some point. If I have had a stressful week, the match is a great opportunity for me to vent those frustrations. If any of you are offended by the thought of me swearing I would apologise but to be honest I really don't give a fu.......

You've got to be jokin' 'ere

Just when you thought it was safe to open your newspapers, yesterday saw the re-emergence of Joe "Fucking" Kinnear and his fantasy football world.  Yesterday JFK spoke to the Journal and made some ridiculous claims that he deserved more praise for his role as manager at Newcastle United.

JFK's reign at Newcastle started in tumultuous fashion. Appointed after Kevin Keegan's departure, in 2008 on an initial one month contract which then became a rolling month to month contract, he immediately endeared himself to the press by publicly calling Simon Bird of the Mirror a cunt in a press conference which saw him swear 52 times, and declare that he wouldn't deal with national media in the future and would only be speaking to the local press.

As Geordies everywhere cringed at the crassness of the bloke, we really had no clue what we were about to endure in a season which ultimately ended in the relegation of a team that on the whole lacked class, dignity, fight or dedication. A season which saw Shay Given sold to Manchester City, a season where JFK publicly mispronounced Charles N'Zogbia's name, and in calling him "Insomnia" managed to piss off the moody Frenchman even more than usual and which directly led to him joining a big club Wigan, a season in which he confronted referee Mike Riley to remonstrate with him after a 2-2 draw with this weekend's opponents Stoke City, and a season which saw Kinnear taken into hospital prior to the match with West Brom. JFK needed a  heart bypass operation, and after time with Chris Hughton at the helm as caretaker, Alan Shearer was appointed to steward the club until the end of the season, which finished with the relegation at Villa Park.

Despite JFK's remarks during the 2009 close season that Mike Ashley wanted him to come back to manage Newcastle, Hughton was appointed manager during the Championship season. That didn't stop Kinnear making comments about how there was a contract for him on the table, or claims that the club would be sold.

Much to the relief of Geordies everywhere Hughton managed to stabilise the club, get rid of the mercenaries and much of the deadwood and bring in the passion and camaraderie that had been lacking the previous season. This stabilisation effectively ruled JFK out of a return to the club, but like a bad smell, memories of JFK lingered.

In October 2010 former Newcastle player Mick Harford told the Sunday Sun:

 “Joe is absolutely certain...that he would have kept the club up if he hadn’t had his heart condition when he had it.”

“When you look back at it his results were good..."

Personally I wouldn't call a win rate of 19.23% and a run which saw us win only 2 game in 15 including the FA cup matches good myself, but obviously Mick Harford knows far more about football than me!

And JFK's heart problems also seem to have affected his memory. In this week's piece he angrily denied Steve Bruce's claims that the current Sunderland manager wanted to take Andy Carroll to Wigan but were outpriced at £4.5 million. Kinnear says:

“Andy Carroll was a kid I’d given his debut to..."

which is interesting seeing that Andy Carroll made his debut as a 90th minute substitute in Palermo under Glenn Roeder, nearly 2 years before Kinnear's appointment. 

Why JFK sees it fit to make any comments regarding Newcastle now, seeing that it's over 2 years since his last involvement, is questionable, but within his whinging he has also resurrected the alleged Geordie hate for southerners. Despite this hatred of southerners Geordies have taken the likes of Rob Lee, Supermac, Gavin Peacock, Les Ferdinand, Warren Barton and Chris Hughton into their hearts.

However JFK either ignores this, or more probably fails to see why these former Newcastle men are thought of with warmth while others including himself bring nothing but distain from the Newcastle fans. In 2009 JFK told the Guardian:

 "I think Mike Ashley got a lot of unfair criticism last year, I think anybody from London does, that's the way life is up there."

and this was repeated in the article from the Journal when he claims that his achievements (what achievements are these) were ignored "because I'm a cockney". He continues to say: 

"...it was me who brought in Kevin Nolan for £4m. He was Newcastle’s player of the year last year but do I get any credit for signing him? No, because I’m a cockney."

Sorry Joe, but in my opinion you've used three letters to many at the end of that sentence. 

Embarrassment of riches

This weekend Alan Pardew has admitted that he has a huge decision to make in the summer. Our current goalkeeping situation sees three men fighting for one place and Pardew has come out in the press to say that he has to decide whether to let one of the young 'keepers leave the club.

Steve Harper has been with Newcastle United since 1993, after signing from local non-league team Seaham Red Star. As Newcastle's longest serving player, he has spent the majority of his career acting as back up to Shay Given. Some cite a lack of ambition for Harper not moving away from Newcastle in that time, personally I see it as loyalty. Whenever Harper has been asked to step up to the mark he has shown that he is worthy of the number 1 shirt and he could have walked into the goalkeeping role at a number of other Premier League clubs and possibly have gained some England caps.

Harper is the model professional. Having completed an Open University degree while playing for Newcastle reserves, Harper is also an FA approved referee. He attends reserve team matches and keeps himself well out of the media spotlight. He is also reported to be a big fan of darts and a joker in the dressing room. He is certainly a fans favourite and deserves his place between the sticks but as he celebrates his 36th birthday today time is not on his side.

Coming up fast behind Harper Newcastle United are lucky enough to have two superb young 'keepers. Tim Krul currently holds the spot on Newcastle's bench, after 19 appearances this season. Signed from his hometown team, Den Haag, Krul had a cameo role in the 2006-2007 season when he starred in the UEFA cup game against Palermo making some astonishing saves due. Since then, with the two 'keepers in front of him, Krul has spent time on loan at Falkirk and Carlisle before returning as back up when Given moved to Manchester City. Krul is highly rated by his country, where he has represented Holland at Under 17 and Under 21 level and is now involved with the senior squad and is tipped to be Holland's future number 1. He has also courted interest from the likes of Juventus and Feyernood, and if he was to leave Newcastle would have no trouble finding a club to play for.

Meanwhile Fraser Forster has not been resting on his laurels. The young, Hexham-born 'keeper has spent time at Stockport, Bristol, Norwich and Celtic on loan where he has impressed both fans and managers. At Norwich he kept an astonishing 50% record for clean sheets, which earned him the Macron Golden Gloves award. Norwich were promoted from league one, and Forster earned the Players Player Award and came second in the Fans Player Awards. Forster then joined Celtic at the start of the 2010-2011 season, and has so far made 30 appearances for the SPL club.

It will have been invaluable for Forster to have played in front of 50, 000 fans every other week, as if he is to step into the 'keeper's role at St James Park, it will be something he has to face up to. Nothing teaches a young goalkeeper better than experience, and Forster has played his role in the Old Firm games this season showing that he can withstand the high pressure matches.

Come pre-season training Alan Pardew knows that he will have 3 goalkeepers banging on his door to show them why he is worthy of the regular goalkeeping spot at Newcastle. Personally I would like to see Forster given a chance to show that he can step up to the Premier League, with Harper in a player-coach role, and Krul being given a spell on loan at a high-level Championship/lower Premier League club. It's an interesting dilemma for Pardew to have, and one which I will be watching closely.

Snood believe it?

We have seen a remarkable week in football. Since last Saturday we have seen air-rifles being shot at work experience lads, referees giving free kicks for incidents they didn't see, ignoring incidents they obviously did see, Wayne Rooney clattering opposition players, dodgy penalties being given, stonewall penalties not being given, Alex Ferguson saying referees are superb and then saying they are crap, dubious offside's being flagged, managers squaring up to each other, player brawls on the pitch, owls being kicked and subsequently dying and Kolo Toure facing a ban for chugging his wife's slim-fast or whatever it was.

Fifa are footballing's highest body. They control world, if not universal, football and this week they held a meeting. You would think that they had some serious footballing matters to discuss. However what they decided was that snoods, the things that aren't quite a scarf, aren't quite a hood but are definitely a fashion faux pas and definitely something that young men playing football shouldn't be seen dead wearing, are to be banned. Fifa, in their wisdom, have ruled that the snoods are a health a safety risk, and that players could be choked by opposition players grabbing their woolly neck protectors.

There is nothing more hilarious than a player wearing a snood! It's laughable when you see a professional footballer wearing a short sleeved shirt and gloves. I have tried to imaging players such as Brian "Killer" Kilcline or Ron "Chopper" Harris in a snood, but my mind won't let such a preposterous thought. A professional footballer should be running around, the body heat keeping him warm. Gloves? Snoods? What next? Legwarmers? 19th Century handmuffs? Bodywarmers? Earmuffs?

Newcastle United fans have a reputation of being completely mental at times. It's not uncommon to see lads, like those pictured at the top of the blog, with their tops off for 90 minutes of the game in the middle of December, bouncing like loons. Some of them could definitely do with a trip to Sadie the Bra lady but they manage to make it through the game without thermal vests despite not having the physical exertion of a football match to keep them warm.

It beggars belief though, that in a week where there has been multiple problems with referees not being able to control players, making huge mistakes on the field, where players have assaulted other players and where managers have incited crowd problems with their behaviour football's world governing body has nothing to say but to ban a stupid item of clothing that no self-respecting man should wear anyway.

A level playing field

At the weekend Ryan Taylor was sent off in the game against Bolton. A rash, two-footed challenge over the ball on Elmander saw the midfielder get his marching orders from referee Chris Foy. And rightly so, it was a needless, potentially leg-breaking tackle. Everyone in St James' Park knew it was a straight red, you could tell that from the gasps from all four corners of the ground.

Meanwhile down at the JJB stadium Wayne Rooney was caught on camera deliberately elbowing James McCarthy in the head in an off-the-ball incident. Similarly to the gasps at St James' Park, the crowd at Wigan also gasped. But far from a red card, referee Mark Clattenburgh put his arm round Rooney, shared a smile and gave a free kick. Indeed from the video evidence it is clear that Clattenburgh hadn't seen the incident at all. He was clearly looking at the ball when Rooney jumped to elbow McCarthy. Had he seen the incident, then Clattenburgh would have, should have stopped the game immediately, but it's only when he hears the shocked intake of breath from the crowd that the whistle is blown.

After the game, Manchester United's manager and coaches were quick to jump to Rooney's defence. Mike Phelan commented that he didn't want to see a witch-hunt, Sir Alex Ferguson claimed that there was nothing in it, and that the media would see to it that Rooney would be "electrocuted or something..." However the rest of the football supporting world knew that the incident would probably be swept under the carpet, come on this is Manchester United after all!

Come Monday, the FA were allegedly left powerless to take further action as Clattenburgh claimed that he had mentioned the incident in his match report and felt that he had taken appropriate action. Unlike incidents in the past where players such as Ben Thatcher have had punishment imposed retrospectively for similar incidents, Clattenburgh's insistence that he was right has left Rooney free to play Chelsea tonight and in the next 2-3 games that he should have missed. The FA claim they are unable to take any further action, however under section 77 (b) of Fifa's disciplinary code states that "the disciplinary committee is responsible for

b) rectifying obvious errors in the referee's disciplinary decisions;"

So the FA are able to act if they want to, but they seem scared to offend Sir Alex Ferguson and his cronies. How dented would Manchester United's title chances be without Rooney in the squad? Especially as they are due to play Chelsea tonight? How furious would Sir Alex Ferguson have been if the incident had seen James McCarthy deliberately elbow Wayne Rooney? I'm more than certain that Fergie would have been berating the fourth official, storming over to Clattenburgh at the break and appearing all over the media to complain about how unfair the system is.

It's not the first time that the FA and referees have showed preferential treatment to one of the "Big 4" clubs. Earlier in the season Blackpool were playing Manchester United when a clear-cut penalty was denied to Blackpool, similarly defender Gary Neville went unpunished when he should have been sent off against Wolves. Only a few weeks ago the FA were ready to make an example of Nile Ranger, who pulled out of the England U20 squad with a bad back. Threats were made to enforce Ranger to miss the next Newcastle match, but these were quickly shelved when the FA realised that Manchester United's Chris Smalling had dropped out of the England U21 squad also and so were unable to single out the young Newcastle striker for punishment.

Referees are no better. In the Manchester City game earlier in the season Nigel De Jong made a shocking tackle on Hatem Ben Arfa which broke both bones in the young lad's shin. Ben Arfa is still out of action, De Jong did not receive a booking. In the league cup final Lee Bowyer was brought down, and should have received a penalty early on for Birmingham City against Arsenal, but the referee did not give the spot kick as the linesman incorrectly flagged that Bowyer was offside. Had Arsenal gone on to win the game 1-0 then the Birmingham City fans would have had no problems in complaining about the incident which was ignored.

As a supporter of a team that includes the notorious Joey Barton it's easy to complain about refereeing. However, I'm not asking for referees or the FA to be lenient to players who deserve to be punished for their actions. Just make it a level playing field for all of the teams and not just the "Big 4" who seem to scare the FA into ineffectuality.